Parent Tips

A Parent's Guide

Colorado State University provides a supportive environment for students to learn about exploring new ideas, making decisions, and developing values and future life direction. The transition from high school to college consists of many challenges and opportunities; and Colorado State provides an array of services, programs, and opportunities to assist students in their journey to adulthood. During this transition students experience a new sense of freedom and responsibility for their choices and actions.

We also realize that this is a transition time for you, as parents or family members of a college student. Adapting your parenting style to include “mentoring” and “guiding” requires practice and patience. Students need to learn how to take more responsibility for their choices, they need to accept the consequences of their behavior and make important life decisions in a supportive environment. College Parents of America, a national organization dedicated to helping parents prepare their students for a safe and successful college experience, developed eight points to assist parents when they discuss alcohol and drug issues with their students.

By having this conversation before your student arrives on campus, you help educate them so they can make responsible decisions. While parents may not be able to actively monitor students away from home, they can be available to talk and listen, and that is just as important. It can do more than help shape lives; it can save lives.

1. Set clear and realistic expectations regarding academic performance.
   Studies conducted nationally have demonstrated that partying may contribute as much to a student’s decline in grades as the difficulty of his or her academic work. If students know their parents expect sound academic work, they are more likely to be devoted to their studies and have less time to get in trouble with alcohol.
2. Stress to students that alcohol is toxic and excessive consumption can fatally poison.
   This is not a scare tactic. Students die every year from alcohol poisoning. Discourage dangerous drinking such as drinking games. Parents should ask their students to also have the courage to intervene when they see someone putting their life at risk through participation in dangerous drinking.
3. Tell students to intervene when classmates are in trouble with alcohol.
   Nothing is more tragic than an unconscious student being left to die while others either fail to recognize that the student is in jeopardy or fail to call for help due to fear of getting the student in trouble.
4. Tell students to stand up for their right to a safe academic environment.
   Students who do not drink can be affected by the behavior of those who do, ranging from interrupted study time to assault or unwanted sexual advances. Students can confront these problems directly by discussing them with the offender. If that fails, they should notify the Residence Hall Director, Resident Advisor or Director of Student Life.
5. Know the alcohol scene on campus and talk to students about it.
   Students grossly exaggerate the use of alcohol and other drugs by their peers. A recent survey found that Texas A&M students believed 92 percent of their peers drink alcohol at least once a week, when the actual rate was 56 percent. (ii) Students are highly influenced by peers and tend to drink up to what they perceive as the norm. Confronting misperceptions about alcohol use is vital.
6. Avoid tales of drinking exploits from your own college years.
   Entertaining students with stories of drinking back in “the good old days” normalizes what, even then, was abnormal behavior. It also appears to give parental approval to dangerous alcohol consumption.
7. Encourage your student to become involved in student organizations and to do volunteer in community work.
   In addition to structuring free time, involvement provides students with opportunities to develop leadership and job-related skills and to gain valuable experience. Helping others also gives students a broader outlook and healthier perspective on the opportunities they enjoy. Involvement on campus helps students further connect to their school, increasing the likelihood of staying in college. The Department of Student Activities, located in Koldus 125, can help students become involved.
8. Make it clear - Underage alcohol consumption and driving after drinking are against the law.
   Parents should make it clear that they do not condone breaking the law. Make sure your emerging adult understands both the criminal and university penalties for underage drinking, using a fake identification, DUI, rioting, and other alcohol and drug related offenses. Parents of college students should openly and clearly express disapproval of underage drinking and dangerous alcohol consumption. And, if parents themselves drink, they should present a positive role model in the responsible use of alcohol.

Important Information For You To Know...

Alcohol Use and Academic Performance
National statistics indicate that students who are earning “A”s are typically consuming less than three drinks a week. Students who are failing are often consuming more than 10 drinks a week.

Marijuana Use and Academic Performance

Consider the following facts on what happens if a student uses marijuana:

1. Marijuana impairs short-term memory and the ability to concentrate – skills necessary for academic success.
2. Marijuana use can have lingering effects on the ability to learn. Studies show that college students who used marijuana regularly had impaired skills related to attention, memory, and learning as many as 24 hours after they last used the drug.
3. Marijuana slows reflexes and coordination. It impairs the user’s ability to judge distance, speed, and time.
4. Regular use of marijuana commonly causes respiratory problems, such as bronchitis, sore throat, and coughs – all conditions that can significantly impact school attendance and classroom concentration.
5. While not addictive in the same way that cocaine and other harder drugs may be, long-term use can lead to dependence on the drug.

Club Drugs

Club drugs are being used primarily by young adults at parties, dance clubs, bars and all night dance parties or Raves. MDMA (Ecstasy), GHB, Rohypnol, Ketamine, methamphetamine and LSD are some of the club or party drugs gaining popularity. Research has shown that use of club drugs can cause serious health problems, and even death. Used with alcohol, these drugs can be even more dangerous. Because some club drugs are colorless, tasteless and odorless, they can be added unobtrusively to drinks by people who want to intoxicate or sedate others. Please discuss these drugs and their potential harm with your student. Discuss how they can keep themselves and their friends safe. For more information, call the Center for Drug and Alcohol Education at (970) 491-1702.

Students Bring Their Use History With Them

It is rare that this generation of students will encounter alcohol or other drugs for the first time on campus. The average age of first encounters or experimentation is 10-14 years old. The good news is that if your emerging adult has already safely navigated making responsible choices regarding alcohol or drug use, they will continue to do so. Likewise, if your student has already had difficulty with substance abuse or irresponsible choices, they are likely to continue to do so or increase the frequency of negative behaviors. It is very helpful for the residence hall staff to be informed if your son or daughter has had prior difficulties with alcohol or drug use. If you have concerns about your students’ use history or wish to discuss options if problems occur on campus, contact the residence hall complex coordinator ( the full time, professional staff member who is responsible for supervision of the residential complex).

Residence Life

Residing in the residence halls can be exciting, but along with the fun comes accountability. Each student is treated as a citizen of that floor and hall community. Students are expected to adhere to our substance free policies of no smoking, drinking and/or drug activity in the halls and are responsible for the behavior of their guests. If students choose to use substances in the residence halls, they will be held accountable for their actions, which may include disciplinary action being taken or moving them to a different room or residence hall. If a student is unwilling to live according to the residential standards, the housing contract can be terminated. In the fall the residence life staff will spend time with their residents talking about these policies and the community standards. We encourage each and every student to help us in this process of creating dynamic living-learning residential environments. If any difficulties arise that cannot be resolved by your son or daughter (we like to encourage them to try to work through difficulties first) please contact the Residence Life Office, (970) 491-4720.

Greek Life

All Greek letter organizations are expected to uphold state laws and local ordinances. The use of alcohol is not permitted at any fraternity or sorority recruitment events. Further, parties with alcohol may not be held at chapter facilities and can only occur at licensed establishments. Colorado State University has a strict NO HAZING policy. Chapters and members are subject to disciplinary action for violations of university policies, Colorado laws and Fort Collins ordinances. If your student is interested in joining a fraternity or sorority, it is helpful to check the grade point average for each chapter listed in the recruitment brochure. Grades really do indicate how chapters prioritize academic achievement with social activities.

The Fort Collins Community

Fort Collins has diverse neighborhoods that include families, working professionals, senior citizens and students. CSU students are expected to be good neighbors and to abide by Fort Collins’ ordinances. In addition to laws related to underage consumption and possession of alcohol, Fort Collins prohibits unreasonable noise, which is determined from the closest public access, having an open container of alcohol in public, sale of alcohol without a license (selling cups or having an entrance fee to a party), littering, urinating in public, DUI and riotous behavior. Hosts are liable for the behavior of guests. Colorado State University is informed about and takes action related to the negative behavior of students in the Fort Collins community. In addition students and parents should be aware that the Colorado State legislature passed a riot law in 2002. Students convicted of riotous behavior are subject to a minimum penalty of suspension from all state supported colleges and universities for 12 months. For more information see HB02-1173 on the Colorado General Assembly website.

Response to Alcohol or Drug Overdose

One of Colorado State University’s top priorities is student safety. When University staff become aware that a person has consumed a large quantity of alcohol or is exhibiting signs of significant intoxication, residence hall staff or CSU police will call emergency medical technicians for an evaluation. If it is determined that medical attention is required, the student will be transported to Poudre Valley Hospital via ambulance. If the student is not able to engage in self-care and requires monitoring, the student will be transported to the regional Island Grove Detoxification Center located in Greeley, CO. Students will be financially responsible for all costs associated with transportation, sanitary clean up of vehicles, emergency room, detoxification or hospitalization.

Guidelines for Parental Notification:

While Colorado State believes it is appropriate to create and maintain adult relationships with students, there are circumstances in which the University will seek and welcome parental involvement to combat the serious issues related to substance abuse and safety for students who are under the age of 21. The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the Federal Educational Rights to Privacy Act (FERPA or the Buckley Amendment) in 1998 removing restrictions regarding disclosing information to parents about their student’s involvement in drug, alcohol or violence-related infractions on campus. The guidelines developed by CSU for parental notification include:

• When a student engages in one serious action, which represents an imminent risk to the health, safety, or welfare of the student or other members of the campus community.
• The student engages in a pattern of problem behaviors, which could result in termination of the residence hall contract or probation, suspension, dismissal, or expulsion from the University.

A telephone call...

• When university staff (primarily if your student lives in a residence hall) are aware of a situation in which your student requires emergency medical care, detoxification or detention at the Larimer County Detention Center we will attempt to telephone persons listed as the emergency contact/parent at the phone numbers provided to the University. Please make sure your contact information is kept up to date both with the residence hall desk and the University student data system.

A letter home...

• When, through a University discipline hearing, a student has been found responsible for an alcohol, drug or violence-related infraction and is placed on a probationary status with the University we will send a letter to the primary parent address provided to the University informing you of the disciplinary outcome.

If Parents Initiate The Contact:

We will do our best to respond to any concerns you may have. Additionally, within the guidelines listed above, we will talk with you about emergency situations or your student’s disciplinary record related to alcohol, drugs or violence.

How And When To Talk To You Son Or Daughter

Talk with your emerging adult about alcohol and expectations you have of their behavior. While you may not be able to actively monitor your student away from home, you can let your student know you are available to talk and listen. That is just as important! It can do more than help shape a life, it can save a life.

As a parent you continue to be a primary influence in your student’s life. Talk with your student about alcohol and making good decisions at school. Let them know that you are available to talk and listen, no matter how far away you are. Pay special attention to their experiences and activities during the first six weeks on campus. These first weeks are critical to a student’s success. Because many students initiate college drinking patterns during this time, there is the potential for excessive alcohol consumption to interfere with a successful transition to college.

Before you begin...

• Avoid contradictions between your words and your actions.
• Be prepared to establish an ongoing conversation, rather than giving a one-time speech. The first discussion may be the most difficult to initiate.
• Evaluate and be willing to articulate your own feelings about alcohol and other drug use.
• Dialogue with other parents of college students who have learned by experience. They may be able to share details on successful conversations they’ve had with their college student. They also may have advice on conversations they wish they had or actions they wish they had taken.

How to begin the conversations ...

• Be prepared to initiate the discussion.
• Exchange information face-to-face rather than over the telephone.
• Look for and create “teachable moments,” such as television news, dramas, books, or newspapers that deal with substance use in college settings.
• If the teachable moment arises because your son or daughter is intoxicated, do not try to talk while he or she is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. Wait until the next day.

When you communicate ...

• Make sure you are calm and open. You do not need to exaggerate because the facts speak for themselves.
• Listen actively and try to understand your student’s point of view.
• Allow your son or daughter to express fears and concerns without interruption or your “preaching.”
• Role play or use anecdotal scenarios. Identify potential situations your student may encounter in college. Figure out a number of ways your student could handle each situation and talk about which works best, and why.

A Parent’s Guide to the DAY 4 Program:

If your student has been mandated to the DAY 4 program, you have more than likely received notification from the Conflict Resolution Office. A hearing officer has decided that your student has violated the CSU Code of Conduct. It has been further decided that your student’s behavior warrants suspension from CSU. Day 4 has been offered to your student as a way to remain in school. Your student has signed a contract which tells him or her they need to do to participate and remain in the program. You can expect that your student will be in the DAY 4 program about the length of a semester. Some students will complete sooner; some will take longer than a semester. The variance depends on your student’s ability to comply with the program requirements, particularly the mandate to remain drug and alcohol free.

The DAY 4 program consists of three phases. In each phase, students are required to remain drug and alcohol free. During all three phases, your student will need to complete random “UA’s” (Urine Analysis tests) and “BA’s” (Breathalyzer tests). The frequency of this testing decreases as your student progresses through the program. In addition to drug and alcohol testing, your student will be required to attend and complete a number of requirements. These include:

• Individual appointments with a clinician. The purpose of this counseling is to give your student an opportunity to work on the behavioral issues that are associated with his or her drug or alcohol use. This is also a chance for a clinician to assess if your student has concurrent mental health or learning difficulties that may require medication, assessment for learning disabilities, stress management or other adjunctive assistance. These start out as weekly, and are gradually tapered off as the student nears graduation.
• Individual appointments with a case manager. The case manager keeps track of the students drug/alcohol testing, assigns study hours, collects grade reports and syllabi, helps students arrange other appointments, and helps with general time management.
• Weekly assigned study hours at the DAY 4 offices. Depending on your student’s GPA, study hours are assigned as a way of helping your student stay on track with classes and get help if needed.
• Attendance at assigned psycho-educational groups. These groups are mini classes on a variety of topic areas pertinent to drug and alcohol use. There are classes on the components of addiction, the continuum of use, life/time management skills, the change process and more. Depending on the phase your student is in, he/she will be assigned a particular number of these classes to attend before progressing to the next phase.
• Attendance at the Ropes Course. A Ropes Course takes place outdoors on CSU property and is run by trained professionals. It is fun and challenging. Students have the opportunity to navigate across low and high wire elements while harnassed to a trainer. It is an exhilarating and fun way to physically challenge one’s limitations. The Ropes Course is often viewed by students as a metaphor for the way they make decisions in daily life.
• Weekly Open Case Review. OCR takes place every Friday in the Senate Chambers at the Lory Student Center. This is CSU’s “courtroom”. At that time, students account to the program director, how their week has gone, what challenges they are facing and what problems may have occurred. Rewards and sanctions are handed out to students at this time.

We know. It sounds like a lot of steps. Your student’s clinician, case manager and other program staff are with him/her every step of the way. It is gratifying for parents, students and staff to see your student grow and make better choices. Often, when students begin the program they are focused on what they are not able to do – mainly, drink or use drugs. By the time they complete the program, they have seen their grades increase, their health improve, their self-awareness grow and their lives expand. Most students, even our most “stubborn customers” admit by graduation, that they have gained from the program.

DAY 4 staff is available to talk to you by phone or in person about any concerns you have regarding your student. Don’t hesitate to contact us. We are happy to schedule family sessions with you and your student to talk about issues if and when they emerge.

CARETAKING AND CARING IN RELATIONSHIPS

Caretaking

• Trying to fix the problem or person
• Denying that a problem or feelings exist
• Taking on another’s financial or emotional responsibilities
• Using blame, shame, or guilt to control another
• Expecting others to live with my expectations
• Giving advice rather than listening
• Doing for others what they are capable of doing themselves
• Speaking for another person
• Fixing other’s feelings
• Doing people’s thinking for them
• Suffering people’s consequences for them
• Criticizing or putting another person down
• Trying to control/manipulate through anger or by being silent
• Checking up by watching another person’s behavior

Caring

• Respecting other’s ability to solve their own problem
• Expressing our concerns directly
• Using “I” statements in expressing our feelings
• Be an available consultant
• Listening, restating what is heard, clarifying
• Sharing similar experiences
• Expressing concern for the person through empathetic understanding
• Allow others to feel their own feelings, do their own thinking, make their own decisions, and speak for themselves
• Follow through with consequences and established limits
• Share concerns honestly
• Identify and do what we want for ourselves – ask for support for ourselves

For more information ...

... on talking with your student about drug and alcohol or if you believe your son or daughter is having a problem with alcohol or other drugs, contact Colorado State University’s Center for Drug and Alcohol Education at (970) 491-1702.

Resources

This brochure is only an introduction to the challenges associated with alcohol and drug use. We encourage you to learn more about these topics and Colorado State’s commitment to students’ personal and academic success by accessing these additional resources.

Office of the Vice President for Student Affairs - (970)491-5312

Alcohol & Drug Prevention & Education - (970)491-1702

Conflict Resolution and Student Conduct Services - (970)491-7165

Residence Life - (970)491-4720

Greek Life - (970)491-0966

Off Campus Student Services/Community Liasion - (970)491-2248

Student Legal Services - (970)491-1482

University Counceling Center - (970)491-6053

College Parents of America, 1-888-256-4627

Partnering with Parents brochure sponsored by the Colorado State University Parents Fund